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Friends Only [03 Mar 2005|11:27pm] Yes, it had to happen at some point. I am just getting too paranoid about who is reading this journal. Comment to be added. Paige <3. 65 l your gun to my head?

[24 Nov 2003|08:05pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Ain't Supposed To Be by Illscarlett ] BTW, Cameron doesn't hate me after all =D. He walked me home the other day. *sigh*. 22 l your gun to my head?

[24 Nov 2003|06:33pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | Ain't Supposed To Be by Illscarlett ] I have been too lazy to update. Sorry. On friday I went to Becky's house with Sara and Neti and we watched Dude, Where's My Car? Then on Saturday me and Sara went to Playdium. Sara kept kicking my ass at air hockey so this guy Richard came and helped me. He was really nice (and hot). Even with the two of us, Sara still won. I got his e-mail =). I think my mom is going crazy...She wants to breed her horse Ebony, which means that she will have a baby next year. And then because she can't Ebony while she is pregnant, she wants to buy another horse that she *can* ride. Which means we will have 4 horses....and now she wants to buy me a Donkey. What the hell am I gonna do with a donkey? And then she called me in her room and she's like "Let's get a Pomeranian!" Great....I a yippee little dog you just wanna kick. That's exactly what I need. Ok I wanna make this journal friends only cause people from my school that aren't my friends are somehow getting in here and reading this. So to all you nosey little fuckers I hate that are reading this FUCK OFF! MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS! 4 l your gun to my head?

[18 Nov 2003|09:34pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | Her and I by illscarlett ] Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I have just been really busy with school work and it has made me very tired. But anyway... Saturdays Illscarlett show kicked ass. Dave and Sugartits came =D!!! I got Dave's e-mail so I am *super* happy cause he is such a cutie and I heart him lol. When I asked for his e-mail he was like "Haha ok go get a pen and paper" and so I went to the snack bar thing and asked if I could borrow their pen and they said "yeah". And then I saw this thin strip of paper on the table and I asked the girl if I could have it and she was like "Uh if you want..." and she gave me this really disgusted look. I picked it up and flipped it over and it was this picture of a naked chick and I screamed and threw it at her. I was like "ummmm that's ok I really don't need it" and I walked back over to Dave looking all freaked out. According to Hoy, Cameron is terrified of me. This makes me really sad. I can't tell if Hoy is joking or not. First he said he was, then he said he wasn't. He likes to toy with my emotions. Sarah said she would talk to Cameron for me. Thanks Sarah =). Huzzah! Dave said he might come to the Illscarlett show in Toronto, but he needs a place to crash for the night and he wants to stay at my house heheheeeeeeeee. I was like "I dunno how well that would go over with my mom" and then he said that he is good around parents but um....it's not *him* my mom would be concerned about *coughcough*. I will have to see if my mom goes up to the country that weekend and stays over night. I am begging you, Sarah, Becky, Neti, anyone!!! To sleep over the night Dave sleeps over. I am afraid I might accost him in his sleep. 9 l your gun to my head?

[15 Nov 2003|02:24pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Stalker by Piebald ] Nothing to report except that I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE ILLSCARLETT SHOW TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system. Can't wait to get in that pit. By the way, everyone (in Canada)has to watch Much On Demand this Monday. sk8erchick18, evrynamewastakn, and I will be there wearing our Illscarlett t-shirts ^_^. tainted_love_ also might join us. Special thanks to lady_of_gonder who has made Band logos for Time Wasted. Everyone go praise her. Which one do you like best??? Anyway, I wrote this song, withthe help of Neti, for the band. I still have to write the guitar parts though. It's a really sad song, so I guess melancholy chords are better...like E minor and E major. Ok well her it is: Being a teenager is so overrated Sometimes I feel so ripped and jaded I need to get out of here I am suffocated by a million fears. Broken by the thoughts in my head The carpet is stained by the tears that I've bled. I sit here locked inside my mind. Sometimes I feel the answers I will never find. Life sucks (why try?) Today (I die) I fell (so far) I'll rise up (no more) I scream (so loud) To you (no sound) Can't you hear me? (No one can) Won't you save me? (take my hand) Broken by the thoughts in my head. The Carpet is stained by the tears that I've bled. I sit here locked inside my mind. There ya go. Sometimes I feel the answers I will never find. Broken by the thoughts in my head. The carpet is stained by the tears that I've bled. I sit here locked inside my mind. Sometimes I feel the answers I will never find. This puzzle is scattered. This life doesn't matter. Nothing is real. These wounds will never heal And the carpet is stained by tears. 6 l your gun to my head?

[13 Nov 2003|08:13pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | The Day I Understood by The Livid ] WOW! I am soooo glad Becky gave me back The Livid c.d!! I missed it sooooo much! I think I shall post some lyrics!....Just beacause... The Day I Understood: So far I stay here Looking closely again It's loost but solid So clean and tarnished So lost again A map in my head So full and empty With so little but plenty. At times we get so lost and devasted Our paths are vague but still so regulated At times we feel so tired of trying to try Wishing we could change all the things that make us Cry I won't try To wash these tears out from my Eyes I won't try Cause they're the kind that never Dry though they collide with everything I've ever tried to hide And keep inside! Above I'm sitting So loose but fittingz I'm starved by eating So cured by bleeding My gut is misled From all the pictures I've read My memory's dead But you remain in my head Now I'm sealed but leaking So silently speaking Now I understand I've confused my reading I draw close but open Bran spankin' new and broken So biligerent and strident But I haven't even spoken Cry I won't try To wash these tears out from my Eyes I won't try Cause they're the kind that never Dry though they collide with everything I've ever tried to hide And keep inside! At times we feel get so lost and devastated Our paths are vague but still so regulated At times we feel so tired of trying to try Wishing we could change all the things we hated All the things that make us Cry I won't try To wash these tears out from my Eyes I won't try Cause they're the kind that never Dry though they collide with everything I've ever tried to hide And keep inside! Cry I won't try To wash these tears out from my Eyes I won't try Cause they're the kind that never Dry though they collide with everything I've ever tried to hide And keep inside! your gun to my head?

[12 Nov 2003|10:22pm] [ mood | horny ] [ music | Her and I by illscarlett ] AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA sorry but I just had to post this picture I took of my friend Sandra in science. We are studying the male repoductive system. She was very *very* glad about it. Aaaaaaaaaanyway... Today was pretty boring. Found out some pretty disturbing stuff about Alex's sex life. Wow. I bought one of his last copies of illscarlett's very first c.d yesterday. There is a song on the C.d called "Her and I" and it's all about how he goes to her house alot and screws around with her. I can't look him in the eye anymore. And I can't listen to the song anymore either. Makes me very horny. And those of you who know me in person know that I am not a safe person to be around when I am horny. I am scared that if I listen to the song and then go into West I just might rape Alex. That wouldn't be good at all, because he's like a father to me. And THAT IS JUST DISTURBING! Lol I had a little talk with Alex today about the song, saying that I was very surprised at him for one of the lines. The Line was "It was a Sunday, I should've been at church but I was down on my knees with my hands up her skirt". I told him I was very disappointed with him. He said "I was just looking for my watch....*shifty eyes*". LOL. He's so cute. I can't wait till their show this Saturday. I can't wait to get in the pit and start skankin' Biatch! 6 l your gun to my head?

[11 Nov 2003|05:25pm] [ mood | giddy ] Omg I am going to get revenge on Sacha!!!! aaaaaaaaah! When I went to see her at West 49 today I started talking about this guy that I think is really hot at school. I told her about how he has locks on his back pack and he has really nice shaggy hair. And she asked me if his name was Alex and I said yeah and then she said "oh that's my brother!" And so, I got to school and I see Lock guy (a.k.a Alex) walking...and this is what happened: *I run up to him and start shaking his arm*: Omg you're Sacha's brother?! Lock guy: Huh? Sacha?...oh..Sacha from west? Me: Yeah! Lock Guy: Um...I guess we are *like* brother and sister...but we aren't related. Me: Oh...*whimpers* She lied to me! *runs away from Lock guy* Why do I continue to embarrass myself like this? I have issues... Then in science class we were watching this movie on flowers, insects, and how they mate. It reminded me of really bad 80's porn or something. Of course, I fell asleep. What? I get really sleepy after I eat lunch...I think all the bright colours and slow music lulled me to sleep. I was having a very good dream about Cameron =). Too bad Sandra punched me in the arm when the movie git a little creepy. I woke up and looked at the tv only to see a mouse gettin eaten by insects. I screamed and then fell back asleep immediatley. You expect me to stay awake to watch a bunch of bees gang bang eachother? That is wrong. Everyone in the class was looking at me like I am supposed to enjoy it. They all have some idea in their heads that I am a pervert...I wonder where they got that idea... 6 l your gun to my head?

[10 Nov 2003|10:58pm] [ mood | lonely ] [ music | Watch It Die by The Livid ] Aaaaaaawwww who else just watched The O.C? I am so jealous! Ryan Is so adorable <3! ....which reminds me...I want Cameron...oh so very badly...Don't think I can hold out any longer....I am so lonely...so very lonely....hold me? 5 l your gun to my head?

[10 Nov 2003|05:22pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Don't Wanna Go by Crowned King ] Today was incredibly boring. In darastic attempts to amuse myself, I decided that my response to what people said to me would be "your mom". Didn't work out too well...probably pissed a few people off. Ah whatever...I have a sudden urge to watch Finding Nemo. Crush the turtle reminds me of me when i am hyper. And if I were a fish, I would most definately be Dory! She is super cool!....I want to go swimming.... 2 l your gun to my head?

[09 Nov 2003|10:30pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | Ska Sucks by Less Than Jake ] Huzzah! I think I am finally *starting* to recover from my illness. But I still feel like shit. I took alot of medicine so I am a little woozy. I have a really bad headache though. It feels like someone hit me over the head with a hammer. Aw my poor horsey. One of the other horses kicked him in the leg so he has a big gash in his leg and it's swollen :(. He probably deserved it though...he thinks he is king out in the feild and him and his whore Bonnie boss everyone around. I didn't have to ride him for very long because of his leg. Which was good for me because this morning i was very sick. I couldn't sleep at all last night because of my damn stuffy nose. I got those Breath Easy nose patch thingies, though, so hopefully they work for tonight. Today was my mom's birthday party at my Grandma's house. I *hate* seeing my family. They never listen to me. And Aunt Katherine *always* gets to take the cake home, or the platter, or the wine glasses...just basically anything she wants! And she never even considers asking my mom if she wants it instead. After everything my mom does for her, too! My mom has gotten her several jobs and Kathy never thanked her. She loaned her money, which she never paid back, and she is constantly nit-picking at my mom for everything. I am so sick of her!! Today, she took home two boxes of toys that me and my cousins used to play with when we were little. With G.I Joe, and the Ninja Turtles, and all these cool cars and the other box had building blocks in it. It's not fair...why should she get to take them? Those are my child hood memories....I love the ninja turtle action figures...=(. She doesn't even have any use for them. She will probably sell them or something. Those toys have got to be worth ALOT of money. My grandma bought all the action figures in the 50's. I wouldn't doubt that that is what she is going to do. She *is* out of work AGAIN (and she is once again demanding that my mom find her a job). Poo...Family sucks. your gun to my head?

[07 Nov 2003|11:35pm] [ mood | cold ] Well I went out tonight even though I am sick. I probably infected everyone but w/e. I met up with sk8erchick18 (Sara) and tainted_love_ (Neti) at the mall. We went to West 49, of course. It was this new guys first day. His name is Darren. He is pretty hot but he has an attitude problem. I was talking to John before the store was closing and this is what happened: Darren: The sooner you guys get out of the store the sooner I can get drunk. Me: Are you even old enough to drink? What are you, like 12? Darren: You're calling me 12 in my own store? Me: Yeah I think I did. Darren: Can't you just get the fuck out? Me: Hey, I'm talkin' here buddy! Darren: Well we are closing now! Me: Listen man, you're new here, I live here! You have no authority over me! Darren: I get paid to work here... Me: That's great...But I am still here more often than you so you're gonna have to learn to deal with me. And then we left. He better back off or I'm gonna go whack on his ass, biatch!....k I'm done... Then me Neti and Sara went to Boston Pizza for dinner because I wanted to oggle Cameron. He took my chicken wings out of the fridge with his hands lol. I was gonna keep one of the bones and put it in my memory box but that's kinda creepy so I didn't. Ew and then me and Sara were saying that the busboy looked our age and we were questioning why he was working there and he turned around and it was my ex-boyfriend Scott. I haven't seen him in like 2 or 3 years. I like his hair now. I don't think he was sure if it was me or not he kept walking by and staring at me from the corner of his eye. And then I asked Cameron if he knew him and he started making laughing at me and said "Haha you went out with Scottydon't!". And then he gave me a hug. Aw. I heart him. If only he knew. He probably does, I mean, I make it pretty obvious. In west the other day he dropped his dime on the floor and he bent over to get it and I was staring at his ass and then I laughed and he's like "what's so funny?" and I told him to drop his dime again and he's like "o..k..." and he did and I was glad. I AM NOT A PERVERT....shut up... 14 l your gun to my head?

[07 Nov 2003|01:38pm] [ mood | nauseated ] aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm so siiiiiiiiccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkk. It's even worse than yesterday. WHEN THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET BETTER?!?!?!?! My nose is driving me crazy!! I have lost my voice and everytime I cough I throw up. I am having hot and cold flashes, too. This sucks! It's a friday and I am sick! I need one giant tylenol!! I sound and probably look like Gollum. Well I am going to go take some more medicine. Bahumbug. 2 l your gun to my head?

[06 Nov 2003|06:47pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Maryjane by illscarlett ] I know you all love my new icon *points*. It kicks ass. Gotta love that illscarlett song. My mom was singing it this morning...I wonder if she knows what it means... Ok Does anyone know what that damn line in the chorus is?! Maryjane, I feel silly when you pass me way You know I feel the same *insert muffled line here* Whoa, you cause me trouble You always seem to be my source of pain relief Oh oh, I'm not like you, baby I'll change. Becky? Sara? Anyone? 5 l your gun to my head?

[05 Nov 2003|08:48pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Gainsville Rock City by Less Than Jake ] My day was sooooooo boring! I had to sit through my mom's boring speech and I didn't understand a word of it! There was a tv there WITH NO CHANNELS!! And a computer WITH NO INTERNET!! I got to see the vault with all the money it it...BUT i COULDN'T TOUCH IT!! No fair... I was really sick too, I should've just stayed home. I took a long nap on the couch there. That was the highlight of my day. Huzzah! The O.C comes in 10 minutes! Marissa and Ryan are going to kiss *is jealous, but still excited*!! B.T.W- 3 out of 4 of the untitled band have agreed that Time Wasted is a very good name (Special thanks to polishme). We still haven't asked Becky what she thinks of it. I will ask her tomorrow, she is sick and I don't want to disturb her. GET BETTTER BECKERS! xD your gun to my head?

[04 Nov 2003|11:16pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Stalker by Piebald ] Ew I had to disect a worm in Science today. It was gross. It smelt like ass. I almost passed out, man. I swear, death was calling to me. Tomorrow is "Take your Kid to Work Day"....Joy...I get to go to the bank of Montreal with my mom...and hear her make speeches. Blech. I am gonna bring my cd player, paper and markers lol, and my cell phone (so damnit, people call me! 647-285-8091). I hope there is a computer that I can use so I can go on Homestarrunner.com for entertainment. *****LISTEN UP EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!***** sk8erchick18(Sara), brain_stew_(Becky), tainted_love_(Neti) and I want to start a band. Becky on Bass, Sara on Guitar, Neti on Drums and me for Guitar/vocals. It's just an idea for now, but we really *really* wanna follow through with this. It will probably be a ska/punk band? (Me and Sara were throwing that idea around, what do you think Neti and Becky?) Problem is, we need help coming up with a name. Any ideas, anyone? 5 l your gun to my head?

[03 Nov 2003|04:30pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | Here We Go by Illscarlett ] Wow. I had one crazy weekend. I had to stay home from school today because I haven't recovered yet. Friday Night: Me and a group of friends went to the Masonic Lodge to see The Livid, Illscarlett, and Keepin 6 perform. It was a kick ass show. When Illscarlett came on stage everyone was skankin in the pit and shit it was funny. This one guy kept hitting me in the back when he was dancing and he hit me so hard that I flew into Alex when he was singing and so I turned around and I punched him in the face and then he pulled me into the pit and we continued bashing into eachother. And then I finally got back to the front and the band started singing the song Maryjane. While they were singing, Yarko (the bands roadie) was passing weed around to them. Alex got a little carried away and screamed in my face "WHY THE FUCK AREN'T YOU DANCING?!" I was scared I almost wet myself. Then he ran into the crowd where girls were grabbing his ass and doing unspeakable things to him. He got back up to the front and slipped on his own sweat and fell on his face. He was winded, but he still tried to sing. It sounded like a dying cat. People were trying to help him up but he was too stoned to understand that so he was trying to give them highfive. Silly Alex. When The Livid went on stage they did really well. Unfortunatley, the P.A was acting up, so the mics kept going off. It was okay though because all the fans were singing. It's The Livid Sing-Along! After the show, I had to cram 8 people into my car. V. painful. My mom dropped us off at Boston Pizza so we could see Cameron and Hoy. Luckily, we caught Cameron on his break, so he was talking to us for awhile. Poor him he got a nose bleed. And he went to go get me straws for my drink and so I was like " I wonder if there was blood on his fingers and now it's on my straws....I want to suck you blood....I mean dick.." LOL...I know...gross comment. David, Cam's friend, happened to over hear and he went and told Cameron. Great... Oh and Hoy was actually nice to me. He saw me sitting in the booth and said "Oh hey Paige! How was the show?" I was just thinking "who are you and what have you done with the real Hoy?" Then we left and we were walking back to my house and all these people were honking at us. This taxi driver honked at us too. These two guys in a van were in the parking lot of Loblaws and they were like "How old are you ladies?" They got mixed responses of "14", "16" and "132". They were like "ok hold on a second" I think they were drunk because they couldn't seem to find their way out of the parking lot. Saturday Night: Me, sk8erchick18 (Sara), tainted_love_ (Neti) and brain_stew_ (Becky), traveled all the way down to Burlington, which is 45 minutes away from here, to see illscarlett's show. It was their first time performing down there so we figured that they could use a little support. We got there at about 6:30 p.m, and Swavek told us that it would be a few hours before they actually went on stage. So we went outside and we got really hyper. Things like this occured: 1. *paige hits sara**neti laughs**paige kicks neti**paige and sara walk away laughing* 2. Me and Sara went for a walk and found random snow piles. We decided that since it was Neti's b-day, we should throw it at her. It was the only logical thing to do. We clobbered her. And then she started chasing after us so I decided to climb a tree to get away. Then this bat flew out and I screamed and ran away and then another one flew out of the tree I was hiding behind so I ran even further away (DAMNIT YOU GUYS IT WASN'T FUNNY!) 3.We met these really cute guys Esmeraldo (aka Sugartits) and Dave. They let me pet their noses I was so happy. Dave jumped on Esmeraldo's back and then he fell and he was like "Ow my Scrotum!" and I just yelled "DAMNIT, SUGARTITS! I NEEDED THAT!" And I look around me and all these people are just staring at me. It was kinda creepy. This French band came on stage and they sounded like the french version of Alexisonfire. The lead singer was creepy. He drew a moustache on himself. And he was like *in french accent*"One of our guitarists could not make it today because he got hit by a truck" and everyone burst out laughing and then he was like "It's not fucking funny! Fuck you all! Fuck yooooouuu!!" Hahahahahhaahhahaha. Then after his band sang their last song he dropped onto to the floor and started screaming "Fuck you!" ....Crazy french bastard. Illscarlett didn't get on stage until like 12 midnight. They did a great job, but unfortunately not alot of people stuck around to hear them play. Yay! Swavek gave me two of his drumsticks! He broke them just for me lol. And Dan finally spoke to me, geez. Talk about anti-social. Here are some pictures from the Burlington show: ( DAMNIT, SUGARTITS! ) 7 l your gun to my head?

[30 Oct 2003|10:38pm] [ mood | crazy ] [ music | Not A Prophesy by Illscarlett (The best band ever Biatch!!!) ] My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul play_hobbit goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as A box. arwen_elvenfair gives you 19 yellow raspberry-flavoured gumdrops. brain_stew_ tricks you! You get a piece of string. cowsarecool tricks you! You get a pen cap. dashboard_nick gives you 5 light yellow grape-flavoured gumdrops. evrynamewastakn gives you 14 blue root beer-flavoured gummy fruits. followshipgirls tricks you! You lose 26 pieces of candy! fool_of_a_took gives you 3 light orange licorice-flavoured miniature candy bars. fynediamond tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy! hairflipper gives you 6 yellow pineapple-flavoured gummies. idril_telemnar gives you 2 pink cherry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. play_hobbit ends up with 20 pieces of candy, a piece of string, and a pen cap. Go trick-or-treating! Username: Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. 7 l your gun to my head?

[30 Oct 2003|06:10pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Wonderwall by Oasis ] Quiz stolen from dashboard_nick for you to fill out about me. 01-- When and how did we meet: 02-- What did you first notice about me: 03-- What do you like most about me: 04-- Are we friends: 05-- Have you ever seen me with my shirt off: 06-- Have you ever seen me cry: 07-- Describe me in four words: 08-- If we could spend a day together what would we do: 09-- Have we ever gotten in a fight: 10-- If you could give me a present what would it be: 11-- Would you hug me: 12-- What do you really think of me: 13-- Have we ever kissed: 14-- Has there ever been anything you wanted to tell me, but were scared to: 15-- Wanna make out: 16-- Name one thing you do not like about me: 7 l your gun to my head?

[29 Oct 2003|08:24pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | Numb by Linkin Park ] Well, my Dad died yesterday. I didn't believe him when he told me he was sick. I thought it was just another lie to get me to come see him. My nana called yesterday and said she found him dead on his apartment floor. He wanted me to know that he was really glad that I sent him the pictures of me. He was happy that he got to see me one last time. My mom won't stop crying. I really don't want to talk about it at all with her. It just makes me feel guilty about how me and my dad were fighting for years and he *tried* to tell me he was sick and he *tried* to say sorry to me and make amends and I shoved him off. I don't want to go to his funeral. I am too ashamed. I don't think I can face his family. Imagine what they must think of me? My nana wants to see me. Ha. What a joke. I haven't spoken to her in years. She just let me slip away. I will not see her. We had a school dance today. It was lame. They only played 2 rock songs. JUST 2! The rest of the music was rap and techno. YUCK. I went to West 49 for a bit today with brain_stew_, tainted_love_ and sk8erchick18. Alex was lecturing me about my backpack. He said that if I wear it too loose, I will have back problems. I burst into tears all of a sudden, because I was upset about my dad. Suddenly all the girls rush over to comfort me and all the guys back away slowly. John and Hoy were just standing there staring. They didn't know why I was crying. John started yelling at Alex saying "Look what you did, Alex! You made her cry! What's your problem?" Alex just backed away and uttered "sorry". LOL Poor Alex...Isn't it funny how nervous guys get in situations like that? Well, Sara took me to the arcade to play DDR with her which made me feel better because I suck and it's funny =). Thanks Sara. 8 l your gun to my head?

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